2 September

faults even with people who are aware of these deficiencies, for to

focus on a person's weaknesses is lowly. However, when teaching or

offering guidance, one may make use of real-life illustrations of

improper behavior in other people and even refer to those people by

name, provided that the listeners are already familiar with the

behavior of these people. The use of actual situations to which the

listener can relate will deliver a message that mere discussion

cannot convey. Reference to negativity here is constructive and is

not considered lowly. Therefore, it is permissible to make

reference to the life-style of a non-observant Jew to emphasize

weaknesses in his behavior and its consequences, though his lack of

observance is rooted in ignorance. However, one should be careful

not to condemn the person. One may not use examples from the

past history of a baal teshuvah without his permission.

Constructive intent is not a license for possible embarrassment. It

is also wrong to use examples from the life-styles of different

ethnic groups within the Jewish nation unless it is clear that

neither speaker nor listener is unsympathetic towards that group.

The following segment is a translation from the Chofetz Chaim's writings on the philosophy of proper speech from the Sefer Shmiras Halashon.

Protective Fence

for wisdom is silence" (Avos 3:17). Silence is good for the wise, and surely

for the unwise. One should guard his tongue like the apple of his eye, for one's

mouth can be the source of his ruination and the movements of his lips can

endanger his soul. Thus it is written, "One who guards his mouth and tongue

guards his soul from tribulations" (Mishlei 21:23). Better to be told, "Speak!

Why are you so quiet?' than for others to find one's prattling burdensome and

ask that he be silent.

Scripture states: "From that which lies within your bosom [i.e. your soul],

guard the portals of your mouth" (Michah 7:5). The use of the term portals

in reference to the mouth is instructive. An entrance to a house must be opened

when necessary, but it cannot be left open all day and all night; to do so

would mean to leave the house open to thieves. Similarly, one cannot allow his

mouth to be open indiscriminately.

A person's most prized possessions are usually kept in a special vault,

hidden away in an inner room and carefully guarded. As man's most prized

function, the power of speech must be guarded with great care, and its greatest

protection is the quality of silence.